Joy and happiness. So overwhelming. Tears but not of sorrow. My heart is happy I hope yours is too. Thank you. I love you.
- Drop. Drop. Drop. Oh so fast.
- It’s so heavy.
- Its so empty.
- Wish you were here. Wish I was there.
- Don’t leave me.
- Drop. Drop. Drop.
I fucking hate this house. I need to leave.
I fucking hate my parents.
Where’s the panic button?
Why are you like this? That’s funny I literally ask myself that question everyday. I need to get my shit together like I don’t understand why I’m freaking out because I have an F but then again I never show up and part of me doesn’t care because I have all my credits. So again, why am I like this?!
There it is again that same old feeling. I know it all too well. It’s getting tiring. I don’t even bother with it anymore. It feels normal, like I’m always gonna be feeling this way. Kinda sucks but I can’t do anything about it.
I was thinking about the quote “curiosity killed the cat” and how much it applies to me. It sucks honestly, knowing things you don’t want to know. Sometimes you find out because you’re trying to find out but sometimes it just pops up out of the blue. That feeling sucks you know? When you now know something you didn’t want to know in the first place. Or something that didn’t help knowing at all. I’m not even making sense. I need sleep.
It sucks I wish I can make it stop. That feeling in my stomach. I know those emotions all too well. Wish I didn’t put you through that. I’ve felt that say so many times. I didn’t mean to ruin it. I’m sorry. I would change what happened if I could. I think it’s funny I’m book smart but not so smart with decisions. Something I’ll regret forever. My past that’s haunting me until this day. Sorry it wasn’t special enough. To me it was.
My eyes hurt still from last time. I should sleep. Wow test tomorrow. I’m so tired I wish I can take a day off. I don’t know what to do. I just want you to feel better. Yeah it’s my fault for being fucking stupid. My mind’s racing. Too many thoughts I should just shut down my system. I’ll just sleep. 0041